Beauty in the Brokenness

You're hurt and broken. You feel gross, unworthy, ashamed, and guilty. I may be the only one, but when I mess up badly, when I can feel that I've disappointed God, this is how I feel. I work so hard to be “good,” to not mess up and live a life that would represent Jesus and one mess up and I'm left crying in my bed or the shower, trying to repent of a sin I can't seem to stay away from.

In that hurt though, as I cry out to the Lord again asking for forgiveness there is a certain type of beauty. Definitely not me, with tears and snot running down my face. But in Jesus. When we cry out asking for forgiveness, God is merciful and loving and forgives us. I don't even have to keep going back to Him and pleading for forgiveness, it is automatic.

You see, the beauty of messing up, of being reminded that I'm not perfect is that Jesus was and that His perfection covers me. If I did not sin, there would be no need for Jesus. And if Jesus did not die for my sin, then I would be lost in it forever, never escaping the weight and pull downward that it forces on me.

My sin, your sin, makes what Jesus did a beautiful representation of His love for us. I can't count the number of times I sin in one day, much less my lifetime, and then that multiplied by everyone on the earth. All of that is what Jesus took on as He hung from the cross. I can't imagine how painful. Yes of course there is physical pain, but think of all the emotional and mental stress and pain that evil causes inside of you. Jesus willingly took it all on so that I could be forgiven and not have to pay the price for my wretchedness.

So, in these times, although I still can feel the press of how dark hearted I am, the cross, Jesus, His life and resurrection, are so so sweet to me. I praise Him for who He is and the fact that God did not want to leave me in my sin. Run to Jesus, soak in the preciousness of how loved we are by a Savior who took on our sin so we do not have to wallow in it anymore.

Dear friends, you are loved by a God that is greater than anything on this earth for He created it all. Look around at our brokenness, but then look to the cross to see the beauty of our Lord.

Laurel