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Relationship not Religion


Hello!

I am currently in Barcelona studying abroad by the Grace of God and I am so thankful for this experience! As one of my New Year's resolutions I wanted to re-find my identity in Christ since I previously have not been as focused in that. Strangely enough God has brought me on a completely different path from what I expected finding my identity in Him would be.

In Barcelona everyone speaks Catalan or Spanish and although I am very advanced in Spanish I am not fluent. So it is very difficult for me to focus on church and participate like I usually do. As soon as I realized that I would not be able to get a ton out of going to church, I immediately got discouraged in the idea of strengthening my faith life. Because of this I took a break (yes i know already) from focusing on my faith life because I could not see a way that I could possibly grow in it from being here. I still went to church every Sunday but it was so easy to stop praying and even thinking about God due to the amount of things to do that Europe has to offer.

After a month or so, I went to look at local churches and cathedrals around my area because European churches are absolutely stunning. I went to kneel and just pray because I had the impulse to do it and I realized that going out of my original faith life routine is okay. There are plenty of ways to grow closer to God and praise Him and just because I wasn’t getting a ton out of church I could still pray there and discover a way to create a personal relationship with Him.

A relationship only requires two people He and I. I can cultivate that anywhere. God constantly is giving and giving but I failed to reciprocate thanks to Him just because I was outside of my comfort zone! How silly is that!? I did not really understand it at the time but God does not care about the specifics. Yes He is happy that I am going to church and praising Him and experiencing all of that in another culture because that is super cool but He won’t be upset if I do not understand what is happening during church or that I can’t participate like I normally do because He sees that I am making an effort to keep up this relationship which is a beautiful thing to think about.

He is so merciful and I am such a perfectionist. If a little thing doesn’t go my way I give up but He never gives up on me. He is still waiting there for me to clear my head and realize that I yearn for him and that is exactly what happened to me. After a month of being in Spain, I was missing talking to God and reading His word. Every time I went to see religious art or churches I felt that yearning for Him that developed over time.

During this lenten season I am doing my best to read the scriptures everyday spend a little time meditating with a devotional and talking to him even if I tell him the smallest littlest things. I let Him know how I feel and that I although I do miss the community of my church back home I am developing my own personal informal relationship with Christ that can be a mess but there IS a relationship there and He is always waiting for me to respond and come back to Him.

I pray that all of you realize that your relationship with God doesn’t have to be super structured like mine previously was. It can be joyful, messy, emotional anything really but just know that He loves you. He’s looking out for you and is always ready for when you want to reach out to Him in any emotional state and in any moment of time.

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