The Blackhole of What Ifs and If Onlys

What if….

What if…..

What came to your mind after you read those statements? I am a huge what-if person. I probably have let it control me in the past more than I want to admit. Yesterday, I was listening to the radio and they were talking about the what ifs we ask ourselves and I started thinking about how I ask myself this all the time. Growing up, I wouldn’t ride roller coasters, because what if it broke. I never drank after people, because what if I got sick. I wouldn't eat things that looked weird, because what if they taste gross. The list goes on and on. Now, my what ifs have become bigger decisions than those and I'm sure you have some of the same thoughts. Even worse, sometimes we start reflecting backwards and asking ourself what if about situations we cannot change. Although reflection can be good, there is a fine line between learning and negativity.

What if I had taken the other job?

What if I had moved to this city?

What if I hadn't ended things with that guy?

What if I hadn't gone to that party?

Or the if only statements….

If only I could get a raise.

If only I had more free time.

If only I had more money.

If only people wouldn't judge me.

These statements and questions can be toxic. In the midst of these questions, you start drifting into a black hole. It consumes you and anxiety starts washing over you. Uncertainty and doubt creep up on you like a monster in the night.

But, take heart! We do not have to let these thoughts and ifs control us. God tells us that

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Which tells us we do not have to fear, although we way not know the future, God does and He is holding you in his hand. The what ifs God planned out before you were born. Everything you have gone through, although it may suck, is for a reason. So if you just can't stay away from your what ifs, then try rephrasing them.

What if I used this tragedy to glorify the Lord?

What if I made those mistakes because God wants me to help prevent someone else from making them?

What if I am working here because someone will need me?

What if God is teaching me a lesson in this season of life?

Don't drown in the sea of what ifs, let Jesus be your life vest.

Laurel